Bad Habits and Behaviours
Grace and Peace in the Lord Jesus Christ,
Have nothing to do with the fruitless deeds of darkness, but rather expose them. -Ephesians 5:11
Now, here I have a Bible verse and a quote. They may seem unrelated, but trust me, I'm going to tie them together so close you won't be able to separate them. Everyone has habits that they know (or maybe don't know yet) that really aren't good and are completely fruitless. In fact they can be so destructive that they cause a lot of problems in the persons life (or in other people's lives). Ok...an example, well, one thing that I seem to commonly be hearing is that sometimes parents will insult their kids. This is something that is completely fruitless. I think some parents think it's motivating or they're just taking their frustration out on their kids (I don't know. I don't get it), but what they are doing is hurtful and only results in bad by-products.
What is my point in all this? Well, bad habits need to be changed, but in order to do that you first need to have a revelation of the problem and see if clearly. No one is going to stop insulting their kids unless they realize it's a problem. Second you need to see what has caused the problem in the first place. Now you might think this is even more obvious than the first thing, but I think this is really where we need revelation from God because sometimes habits or bad behaviours start deep. For example, my behaviour of verbally 'attacking' a certain member of my church does not stem from some kind of complicated situation with some sort of complicated solution (like they would have me believe). At the root of the problem is the fact that I have really been hurt by leaders in my church and they do not have a clear perspective on the problem (there's a good chance I don't either). Now, they keep complaining that I'm saying inappropriate things to them, but all I'm trying to do is sort out the problem and get them to stop hurting me and I really don't know any other way to express how it is that I'm feeling.
So my solution is to keep seeking God for revelation. Revelation on what the problem is and revelation on how to best solve it. Now, step by step I have been getting revelation. It is a really long process because instead of having my leaders actually explain what they mean to me I have to pray...and pray...and pray about it so that I can understand what they are saying so that it actually has use to me. Now, since I have more clarity on their thoughts eventually I can talk to them and say, 'I think this is what you think and this is why I think you are wrong. And you're right about this, but you're wrong about this aspect of it.' And hopefully that will resolve that part of the problem, but the solution would be entirely impossible if I were not seeking God for revelation and help on how to stop doing the things that I am doing wrong. Once I know specifically what it is that I'm doing wrong then I can use that information to find a better way of saying things.
Example: Instead of saying 'I feel judged by you' (which is not the same as saying 'I think you've judged me in these ways'. Which I specifically did not say) I can say 'I feel hurt by you because of...' And maybe, just maybe that approach will open their ears to hear what it is that I actually have to say.
May God move this mountain. ;)
Have nothing to do with the fruitless deeds of darkness, but rather expose them. -Ephesians 5:11
Get alone with God. Get a real vision of who God is. When God shows you something; you see clearly. When God does something in you; you see clearly...if you're going to go after something. Go after God and get a word from Him. THAT is what will make you press on; even when things get hard. -gh (ha! I quoted you!)
Now, here I have a Bible verse and a quote. They may seem unrelated, but trust me, I'm going to tie them together so close you won't be able to separate them. Everyone has habits that they know (or maybe don't know yet) that really aren't good and are completely fruitless. In fact they can be so destructive that they cause a lot of problems in the persons life (or in other people's lives). Ok...an example, well, one thing that I seem to commonly be hearing is that sometimes parents will insult their kids. This is something that is completely fruitless. I think some parents think it's motivating or they're just taking their frustration out on their kids (I don't know. I don't get it), but what they are doing is hurtful and only results in bad by-products.
What is my point in all this? Well, bad habits need to be changed, but in order to do that you first need to have a revelation of the problem and see if clearly. No one is going to stop insulting their kids unless they realize it's a problem. Second you need to see what has caused the problem in the first place. Now you might think this is even more obvious than the first thing, but I think this is really where we need revelation from God because sometimes habits or bad behaviours start deep. For example, my behaviour of verbally 'attacking' a certain member of my church does not stem from some kind of complicated situation with some sort of complicated solution (like they would have me believe). At the root of the problem is the fact that I have really been hurt by leaders in my church and they do not have a clear perspective on the problem (there's a good chance I don't either). Now, they keep complaining that I'm saying inappropriate things to them, but all I'm trying to do is sort out the problem and get them to stop hurting me and I really don't know any other way to express how it is that I'm feeling.
So my solution is to keep seeking God for revelation. Revelation on what the problem is and revelation on how to best solve it. Now, step by step I have been getting revelation. It is a really long process because instead of having my leaders actually explain what they mean to me I have to pray...and pray...and pray about it so that I can understand what they are saying so that it actually has use to me. Now, since I have more clarity on their thoughts eventually I can talk to them and say, 'I think this is what you think and this is why I think you are wrong. And you're right about this, but you're wrong about this aspect of it.' And hopefully that will resolve that part of the problem, but the solution would be entirely impossible if I were not seeking God for revelation and help on how to stop doing the things that I am doing wrong. Once I know specifically what it is that I'm doing wrong then I can use that information to find a better way of saying things.
Example: Instead of saying 'I feel judged by you' (which is not the same as saying 'I think you've judged me in these ways'. Which I specifically did not say) I can say 'I feel hurt by you because of...' And maybe, just maybe that approach will open their ears to hear what it is that I actually have to say.
May God move this mountain. ;)
posted by L @ 2:30 PM
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